A difficult performance review can follow you out of the meeting room. You might feel embarrassed, angry or worried about what it means for your bonus, progression or job. It can be hard to return to an ordinary task while absorbing feedback you did not expect.

Start by giving yourself enough space to understand what was said. You can take the review seriously while also checking its accuracy and deciding what support you need.

Get through the first few hours

If possible, take a short break before your next meeting. Get some water, walk somewhere quieter or have your usual lunch. You might tell a trusted person, “That was difficult. Could you listen for a few minutes?” Share only what is appropriate, avoiding confidential workplace details.

You do not have to settle every concern immediately. If a response is expected, try: “I’d like to review the examples carefully. Can I come back with questions tomorrow?” Check whether there is a formal response deadline. Avoid making a major career decision in the immediate aftermath unless circumstances require urgent action.

Turn the review into a clear record

While the meeting is fresh, make factual notes in an appropriate, secure place. Capture the feedback, examples, expectations and dates mentioned. Keep your interpretation separate. “Two reports were submitted late” is different from “My manager has given up on me.” The second may express a fear, but it is not something the first statement proves.

Sort the points into three groups: feedback you understand, feedback needing examples, and statements you believe are inaccurate. Check the review against your agreed objectives and available records. If there is a formal performance improvement process, read the documents and ask HR to explain the steps and deadlines.

Ask for feedback you can act on

Broad comments such as “be more proactive” or “improve communication” leave plenty of room for misunderstanding. A follow-up conversation can focus on the behaviour your manager expects:

• “Could you show me an example of where my update fell short?”
• “What would a satisfactory version have included?”
• “How will we assess whether this has improved?”

If a factual point is wrong, bring the relevant evidence calmly: “The review lists this as overdue. The email records an agreed extension to Friday, and I submitted it on Thursday. Could we check that entry?” You can accept one part of the feedback while questioning another.

Build a small, measurable plan

For each agreed improvement, write down the action, any training or resources needed, what progress will look like and the check-in date. Avoid a vague promise to “work harder”. If a new skill is involved, ask for a suitable example, training or a colleague’s guidance. Send a concise summary through the usual work channel so misunderstandings can be corrected.

Consider this fictional example. Mei, a project coordinator in Singapore, is told that colleagues learn about delays too late. She and her manager agree that her Friday update will include outstanding decisions, current risks and who needs to respond. They also agree how she should flag an urgent issue between updates and arrange a check-in after three weeks. This gives them something concrete to examine.

Look after yourself while you respond

Try to keep your usual meals, sleep routine and contact with people outside work. Set aside a limited period to prepare your response, then return to other parts of your evening. You can also note work you have completed well, alongside areas needing improvement, to keep the picture accurate.

Workplace conditions matter too. Singapore’s Tripartite Advisory on Mental Health and Well-being at Workplaces recognises both workload and workplace relationships as possible sources of stress. If you face unclear systems, missing resources or inappropriate treatment, include those facts when seeking support through the relevant workplace channel.

If distress is affecting sleep, daily functioning or your ability to cope, consider getting support for stress from a GP or counsellor. You can also check whether your employer offers an Employee Assistance Programme and ask the provider about access and confidentiality.

Frequently asked questions

What if I cried during the review?

You can return to the substance once you feel ready: “I found the conversation difficult, and I’d like to clarify the feedback.” You need not give colleagues a detailed account of your emotions to take part in a constructive follow-up.

What if the review feels unfair?

Identify the specific statements you dispute and the evidence available. Check your organisation’s review or grievance process and its deadlines. HR or a union representative, where applicable, can help you understand the procedure. Avoid assuming the outcome before it is considered.

Should I start looking for another job?

You can explore options while assessing whether improvement is realistic and the workplace is supportive. Consider the wider pattern, your needs and practical circumstances. One review alone may not give you enough information for a settled decision.

If the review has shaken your confidence or left you struggling with work stress, you can explore SCC’s counselling services and, when you feel ready, book an appointment to talk through your next steps.