Kenny Chen – Relationship Counsellor

My experience with couple’s counselling spans 12 years and involves working with diverse couples facing a range of challenges. I have had the opportunity to support couples in different stages of their relationships, from those navigating new challenges early on to long-term partnerships working through deep-rooted issues.  Working with couples can be challenging but rewarding.  Over the span of many cases, I’ve guided couples through a variety of relationship concerns, such as communication problems, rebuilding trust, navigating infidelity, enhancing emotional intimacy, and managing life transitions like parenting or career changes. In many of my cases, couples often feel that they are “stuck” and are clueless or helpless in getting unstuck. I help them to move past repetitive patterns that hinder their connection and growth.

I typically use an Integrative approach incorporating evidence-based approaches in my practice, including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) These approaches allow me to address both emotional and practical issues in the relationship, helping couples to build skills while deepening their understanding of each other.

In my work, I’ve seen couples overcome significant challenges by learning to communicate openly and effectively, resolve conflicts respectfully, and develop empathy for one another’s experiences. I feel privileged to witness partners rediscover connection and trust, even in relationships that initially seemed strained beyond repair.

I always believe that success in couple’s counselling lies in collaborative work with my clients. I encourage them to believe that they are equally empowered to make a difference in their relationship through their hard work and effort to change, and the ability to apply new found knowledge and skills to experience a more positive outcome in their relationship.

I believe each couple is unique, so I adapt my approach to meet their specific needs, helping them to achieve their goals at a comfortable pace.

My approach to couple’s counselling is rooted in collaboration and an impartial and non-judgmental position. My aim is not to take sides but to create a safe, supportive space where each partner feels heard and respected. My role is to guide both partners to communicate openly, understand each other’s perspectives, and work together toward shared goals.

Depending on the relationship problems, I usually draw from evidence-based methods, primarily integrating approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method. Through EFT, I help couples explore and express underlying emotional needs, while the Gottman Method offers structured tools to build trust, improve conflict management, and increase relationship satisfaction. These approaches allow us to address emotional patterns and establish healthier communication practices to build closer connections.

Through the therapy process, I will encourage each partner to understand their individual contributions to relationship dynamics and develop empathy for each other’s experiences. Together, we work toward enhancing intimacy, rebuilding trust, and creating sustainable relationship connection and commitment.

I also emphasize the importance of self-awareness. Understanding personal patterns, attachment styles, and triggers can be powerful for each partner, empowering them for change. By developing this awareness, both individuals can begin to shift unproductive mindset and behaviours and create positive changes that support the relationship.

No one couple is the same, every couple is unique, so my approach is flexible and tailored to the specific needs, values, and goals of each relationship. Whether the focus is on rebuilding trust, enhancing intimacy, or navigating a life transition, I adjust my work to meet each couple where they are.

The first few sessions often continue with the counsellor gathering a more in-depth understanding of each partner’s perspective, relationship history, and underlying issues. Couples may explore patterns in communication, areas of conflict, or past events contributing to present dynamics. Based on this, the couple will work with the counsellor to set specific goals for therapy. These goals might include improving communication, rebuilding trust, increasing intimacy, or resolving specific recurring conflicts.

As sessions continue, the counsellor may guide the couple to look beyond surface-level conflicts to uncover deeper, often unspoken feelings, such as fears, insecurities, or unmet needs. This phase can be challenging, as it often brings up vulnerabilities, but it’s essential and necessary for healing and fostering genuine understanding and connection and treatment can be targeted at identified root causes.

Once root problems and goals are identified, couples will learn strategies to address disagreements constructively, aiming to prevent escalation and encourage a more respectful, solution-oriented approach. Over time, the counsellor will periodically review progress, celebrate improvements, and adjust goals or techniques as needed. This keeps therapy focused on what’s working and allows flexibility to address new issues as they arise.

Eventually, as the couple builds a strong skill set and resolves their core issues, therapy will focus on maintaining these improvements independently. The counsellor may help them prepare for potential future challenges, practicing problem-solving skills they can use after therapy ends.

It’s common for one partner to refuse to go to couple’s therapy. Threatening to get a divorce if your partner doesn’t go to therapy isn’t a good idea.  If your partner refuses to go for whatever reasons, you are still empowered to make a difference to the outcome of your relationship. Relationships are like a dance. When you change your steps, your partner naturally changes their steps. When you start doing things differently, your partner’s behaviour will shift. Couples get into patterns of behaviour that get repeated. When you change how you respond, communicate, manage your emotions, or solve problems, you help both you and your partner break free from old patterns and develop new ones. Once your partner experiences these changes from you, he or she is more likely to be open to couples counselling as they can see the benefit of it through your positive actions and behaviours.

Typically, in a first couple’s counselling session, you can expect a structured and supportive environment where both partners are encouraged to share their perspectives. The counsellor’s main goal is to understand each person’s individual concerns, as well as the issues you both want to address together. Here’s what typically happens in that initial session:

• Understanding the reasons for counselling
• Sharing relationship history and background
• Identifying individual’s perspective of the marital relationship
• Understanding couple’s dynamics and patterns that could be leading to and maintaining couple’s communication problems
• Establishing goals for therapy
• Explaining the therapy process and how therapy should move forward

Confidentiality plays a key role in building a therapeutic relationship. Clients, whether they are new to a particular counsellor or to therapy altogether, often feel a sense of comfort in knowing that they can be honest in their sessions without having their privacy leaked to a third party. Therapist confidentiality lays the foundation for trust, which can allow the therapy to become more individualized and effective.

There are a few specific and clear instances when therapists are required to report personal information about their clients:

• If the client poses a danger to themselves or others
• If the therapist suspects the abuse of a child or an elderly or otherwise dependent adult
• If they are legally forced to by court order

Most counsellors will include a detailed explanation of these exceptions in their privacy policy, which the client reviews and signs before their first session. They may also mention it in conversation in one of their early sessions in case the client has any concerns about confidentiality that could prevent them from fully engaging in therapy.

Even when a therapist is compelled to break confidentiality, they are generally careful about only disclosing what is necessary to protect their client or others, and they only tell third parties who urgently need to have that information.

I specialize in handling infidelity, sexual and intimacy concerns, and communication problems.