What is Active Listening?
The act of listening goes beyond the act of hearing — while hearing is simply the ability to perceive sound through our ears; listening requires attention, concentration and attitude [1]. We hear many things all the time, but that does not mean that we have paid attention to and processed everything that we have heard.
Active listening takes things one step further. It is a widely known rapport-building skill which encompasses an intentional communication of a supportive presence through a set of verbal and non-verbal attentional skills.
Learning to listen actively is a skill that needs to be learned [2], as we become more aware of the small things that make people feel heard and hold ourselves back from bad listening habits.
The Functions of Active Listening
Active listening helps us to build relationships. Furthermore, it allows us to communicate more effectively with others — understand and process important information, and carry out tasks effectively [4].
When we are able to listen actively to the speaker/s, we show interest in what was shared and that reassures them their concerns are being taken seriously [2]. This facilitates others’ willingness to connect with us, as they feel valued and they enjoy the conversation.
What Makes a Good Listener?
Active listening skills include [3]:
- Eye contact
- Body language
- Reflecting speaker’s feelings and thoughts
- Showing interest
- Paraphrasing and summarising content
- Asking questions to clarify information
Obstacles to Active Listening
Being a good listener is more than just paying attention and having the right attitude. It is also about putting aside our own needs to be heard. At times, we have to control ourselves from arguing, interrupting or jumping in too quickly to offer advice.
Some of the things that hinder active listening are [4]:
- Personal agenda (You want to focus on what you want to say instead of listening)
- Selective listening (You hear what you want to hear)
- Reacting to emotions (You hear things that sound offensive to you and become defensive)
Becoming a Better Listener
Other than adopting the active listening skills mentioned above, there are a few things to take note of when it comes to becoming a better listener [4]:
- Set aside your own agenda or needs
- Be open-minded, refrain from making assumptions
- Let the speaker know that you hear and understand their point of view
References:
[1] Jones JE, Pfieffe JW. The 1974 Annual Handbook for Group Facilitators. San Diego, CA: Pfieffer; 1974. Small Group Instructor Training Course (SGITC). 1998. By U. S. Army.
[2] Gonzalez TD. PhD thesis. University of Phoenix; Arizona, USA: 2009. Impact of active listening training at a California state hospital: a quantitative study.
[3] Robertson K. Active listening: more than just paying attention. Aust Fam Physician. 2005;34(12):1053–5.
[4] Nichols M.P.(2009). The lost art of listening. The Guilford Press.
