What Is Attachment Theory?
Attachment theory refers to the way our early experiences with caregivers affect our relational patterns with others throughout subsequent phases of our life [1]. It suggests that everyone has a different attachment style.
What Are Attachment Styles?
Simply put, attachment styles refer to relational styles. In particular, it describes the way we conceptualise and perceive relationships, and the way we relate and respond to people.
One’s attachment style develops between 7 to 11 months of age [2]. This is determined by how a primary caregiver responds to a child’s cues during periods of emotional stress. As this is the earliest relationship a child has, it thereby serves as a relational model for him/her. Hence, these early relationships have a major influence on future relationships.
Types of Attachment Styles
1. Secure Attachment Style
Secure attachment refers to the ability to form secure, loving relationships with others. A securely attached person trusts others and is trusted. Additionally, they love and accept love, and get close to others with relative ease. Securely attached people are not afraid of intimacy, nor do they feel panicked when their partners need time or space away from them. Furthermore, they are able to depend on others without becoming totally dependent.
2. Anxious Attachment Style
Anxious attachment is a form of insecure attachment where people tend to worry that their partner will leave them. Laypeople relate anxious attachment with “neediness” or clingy behaviour. Examples of such behaviour include feeling anxiety when your partner doesn’t text back fast enough, or constantly feeling like your partner doesn’t care enough about you.
3. Avoidant Attachment Style
Avoidant attachment is a form of insecure attachment marked by a fear of intimacy. People who are avoidantly attachment tend to have trouble getting close to others or trusting others in relationships. They tend to be emotionally unavailable in their relationships and are quite independent, preferring to rely on themselves.
4. Fearful-avoidant Attachment Style
Fearful-avoidant attachment is a combination of both anxious and avoidant attachment. People with fearful-avoidant attachment both desperately crave affection and want to avoid it at all costs. They are reluctant to develop a close romantic relationship, but yet have a need to feel loved by others. Experts associate it with significant psychological problems such as riskier sexual behaviour [3], increased risk for violence in their relationships [4], and difficulty regulating emotions [5].
Can I Change My Attachment Style?
The forming of attachment styles is largely out of our control. This is because these styles create deeply ingrained and predisposed tendencies to relate to people in certain ways. In this sense, people rarely change their attachment styles fully.
However, one may learn to manage one’s attachment instead. This helps one disallow his/her relationships form being guided by automatic fears and reactions. Hence, knowing your style means that you are in a better position to realise some of your unhelpful relationship habits. As such, you can then choose better ways of relating with people!
For more information on how different ways of discipline and parenting can affect a child’s attachment style, refer to Parenting Styles.
FAQ
1. How can I determine my child’s attachment style?
A classic method employed by psychologists to determine a child’s attachment style is the Strange Situation test [6]. You can attempt a similar test to determine your child’s attachment style.
A newer, less labour-intensive measure called the School Attachment Monitor (SAM) has also been developed [7]. However, as this measure is relatively new and thus not as accessible, mental health professionals may rely more on variations of the Strange Situation test to determine a child’s attachment style.
2. Are attachment styles passed down from parents to child?
Research shows that it is highly likely that a child develops a similar attachment style as his/her parents [7]. As parents play a formative role in their child’s growth, children tend to take cues from them and learn their behaviour. Resultantly, unless a parent consciously attempts to not let their attachment style guide their interactions with their child, the latter will develop the same attachment style as their parent’s.
References:
[1] Butcher, J., Hooley, J., & Mineka, S. (2013). Abnormal psychology (16th ed.)
