How To Establish Effective Communication

Our daily lives depend heavily on communication, but it can be easy to underestimate of effective communication. How can we work towards becoming more effective communicators? Let’s examine the various communication styles and their effects on how we interact.

When communicating with others, we often engage in different types of communication to convey our point. There are two main ways we will use to communicate: 

Non-verbal communication [1] includes facial expressions, posture, eye contact, hand movements, and touch.

Our body language can also be used to emphasise what is being verbally communicated or to substitute verbal communication. 

Our body language can take 2 forms:

• Positive or open body language; which conveys a willingness to listen to other parties. For example, mirroring another person’s body language, or an equal handshake.
• Negative or closed body language; which can give the wrong impression to the other party. For example, crossed arms and ankles, or fidgeting with objects.

Verbal communication [1] can come in spoken words, such as our in-person conversations, or our written words, such as in our text messages.

Effective communication entails not just a careful choice of words, it also involves the way we combine them to convey a larger idea, and the tone we use.

A person’s capacity for communication determines their success in many aspects of their lives. Making use of effective communication is often the best way to resolve a conflict between people, improve relationships, and build cohesion between colleagues, family, and friends. [2]

No matter how minor or large a project is, communication is crucial to the outcome. [2] For instance, introducing oneself with a smile and a solid handshake can lay the groundwork for effective dialogue. 

We must provide instructions or direction in order to maintain an activity or keep a process moving [2]. For example, teachers must guide students, managers must guarantee that team members provide their best effort, etc. Only when there is coordination amongst people can all these things be completed seamlessly.

Strong communication allows us to spread the right messages, and more importantly, dictates how the messages are communicated to others. Mastery of communication is necessary to differ in opinion without offending others and to be assertive without being confrontational. [2] 

Effective communication skills include being able to express our feelings, delivering comforting words, and spreading positivity through encouraging comments. [2]

The ability to help us reach our full potential is the most important component of communication. Words, both written and spoken, are a vehicle for the expression of our inherent abilities and creativity. [2]

Everybody has a different manner of interacting and communicating with others, which is known as their communication style. The four basic communication styles [3] are:

An assertive communication style is often regarded as the most effective communication style. They are clear in their verbal and nonverbal communication. A person who uses this style is certain of their beliefs but avoids belittlement or overshadowing others in the conversation. [3]

Assertive communicators seek compromise and consensus by actively listening and clearly expressing their wants or needs. They also tend to seek a balanced solution to situations, taking into account the feelings and needs of others as well. Assertive communicators tend to take ownership of their feelings and behaviours by using “I” statements, without putting the blame on others, such as:

“I feel frustrated when you are late for our appointments.”

How to be a more assertive communicator [4]

• Speak firmly and with assurance. It is natural for us to lose our sense of confidence when speaking, but trust in yourself; you know best what you need to succeed!
• Take into account both your own needs and those of the people you are speaking with. Make an effort to be solution-focused, and considerate of others’ viewpoints.
• Consider your word choices. Replace “could”s and “should”s with “will”s. For example:
  • Instead of “I could lead the team for this task”, try “I will lead the team for this task”. 

People with a passive communication style are often known as “people-pleasers” and have a tendency to submit to others’ views and opinions. Passive communicators typically don’t express their demands or sentiments, often withdrawing and letting others take the initiative. [3]

Passive communicators are also often averse to conflict. However, their lack of outward communication might often result in misunderstanding, or resentment as they might be unable to clearly communicate their opinions. [4]

How to Improve Your Passive Communication Style [4]

• Recognise the importance of your contributions and take small steps to gradually increase your confidence. For example, learn to say “No” and be firm in establishing healthy boundaries.
• Be careful not to compromise too frequently. Find solutions that can benefit everyone – including yourself! – and present them clearly.
• Work on your body language and other non-verbal communication. For instance, make an extra effort to have appropriate eye contact and body posture when communicating with others.

The aggressive communicators can be characterised by intentional or unintentional intimidation of other parties through their behaviours or tone of voice. For instance, some aggressive communicators tend to take on a more hostile, combative tone of speech and may dominate others. Those who communicate aggressively frequently give orders, ask questions rudely, and ignore others’ opinions. [3] 

Aggressive communicators often have a disposition that they wish to win at all costs. This might be because aggressive communicators tend to consider their input to the discussion to be the “most important”. As a result, aggressive communicators may cause others to feel frightened, overpowered, and belittled.

How to Improve Your Aggressive Communication Style [4]

• Change your manner of expression. Think about how your tone will impact the person you’re speaking to; it is just as important as your own needs.
• Observe your nonverbal cues. Aggressive communicators might use aggressive body language to emphasise their dominance in discourse. Instead, adopt a calmer approach that might be much better received by your coworkers.
• Be solution-oriented. Instead of trying to “win” the conversation, your goal should be to develop collaboration to better achieve success. For example, focus on ideating what can be done instead of focusing on the mistakes.

As its name implies, this communication approach includes elements of passive and aggressive methods. [3]

Passive-aggressive communicators often use sarcastic or condescending language to express themselves. This is often because they may feel helpless or stuck internally, developing resentment that leads to them seething or acting out in subtle ways

The most common ways that passive-aggressive communicators express themselves are through body language or a lack of open communication, such as giving someone the silent treatment, spreading rumours behind others’ backs, or undermining other people’s efforts.

How to Improve Your Passive-Aggressive Communication Style [4]

• When communicating, consider your motivation by asking yourself:
  • Is it coming from a place of anger or resentment?
  • Do you feel like your contributions are unappreciated?
  • What could be making you lash out?
• Place more emphasis on using uplifting, problem-solving words. For example, “Your idea is great! But maybe we could try something different first?” or “I hear your frustration, perhaps we can look towards finding a compromise that benefits everyone?”
• You might not be able to control how others act toward you, but you do have power over how you react to them. Use a positive and pleasant tone to address issues with others to build better relationships.

Whether in the workplace or at home, we are constantly interacting with different types of communicators. In order to strengthen our teamwork and relationship with others, we can aim to understand how we can work better with them:

• Inquire directly about their thoughts on topics. Allow them to voice their opinions during the dialogue and give them enough time to do so. [4]
• Talk about solutions and use positive language.  Acknowledge their efforts in offering their views before providing them with constructive feedback. [4]

• Try to introduce them to the various communication styles and provide them with advice on how to shift from their aggressive style to something more assertive. [4]
• Streamline the conversation — get to the point without wandering off tangent on the topic at hand. [4]

• Listen out for the message they may be trying to convey rather than focusing on their tone of speech. Additionally, respond in a tone in which you would like to be spoken to. [4] Some questions you can consider are:
  • Do they use this style when dealing with an aggressive communicator?
  • Does this happen when they feel pressured?
• Acknowledge the importance of their contributions and present win-win solutions. Simultaneously, work towards developing an assertive communication style. [4]

References

[1] Willkomm, A. (2018). Five Types of Communication. Graduate College of Drexel University. https://drexel.edu/graduatecollege/professional-development/blog/2018/July/Five-types-of-communication/

[2] Importance of Communication. (2010). Communication Theory. https://www.communicationtheory.org/importance-of-communication/

[3] Alvernia University. (2018). 4 Types of Communication Styles. Alvernia University Online. https://online.alvernia.edu/articles/4-types-communication-styles/ 

[4] Valamis. (2022). Communication styles. Valamis. https://www.valamis.com/hub/communication-styles